Love For Wits - Still Young But Leading The Pack

DIPO is here to say that after a year of investigating many so-called sites for dating intelligent peeps, the only one that really measures up in terms of content and quality-per-person for this sort of dating is LoveForWits.com. It includes comedy and theater feeds, live chat, and a special sign-up test that is hilarious but effective for weeding out the smarts from the not-so. Other "intelligent dating" sites either failed to screen members in any meaningful way or else applied absurdly difficult Mensa tests.

A Tale of Noncorporeal Dating Profiles - Ghosts in the Dating Machine

The Economist recently included an excellent article overviewing the cosmos of online dating, noting controversies, statistics, etc., but one of the most interesting revelations included the mention of GHOSTS. That's right, phony members created by dating websites to pose as real members.

According to TE:

To make matters worse, unscrupulous site operators sometimes stuff their databases with fake profiles maintained either by their own staff or by people they have paid. These “ghosts”, in the industry’s jargon, are used to draw in new punters and to help keep existing ones hooked. Last year Jetplace, an Australian company, admitted that it had been running more than 1,300 false profiles on a matchmaking service that it owned. Dating-site bosses maintain that such instances are rare, but detecting them can be tricky.

As most of us already know who date online, even if they're not ethereal types, the profiles of the corporeal can be very misleading.

Even genuine profiles can be misleading: OkTrends, a blog run by OkCupid, reported last year that users routinely fib about things such as their height and wealth in order to boost their chances of being contacted. Yet the prospect of a first face-to-face meeting provides a natural check on people’s propensity to exaggerate. Some researchers have found that daters tend to come clean about any slight misrepresentations they have made before meeting a potential partner.

No surprise there, eh?  And of course, we have the hordes of con artists.

The industry has also been slow to strengthen security measures to protect those seeking romance from falling into the clutches of frauds, cads and worse. A few agencies, such as True, an American dating service, regularly run background checks on their customers. But they are the exception rather than the rule. As well as weeding out crooks and sex offenders, True also uses official databases to spot married people posing as singles ... many online-dating services are reluctant to undertake thorough background checks because these could put off potential customers.  

So, darling readers, ya gotta be smart out there!  Seriously, the best way to go for online daters is to focus on niche sites for the intelligent that provide a screening method of some type, Love for Wits.Com being the only one we know of at this time.  The admins tell us they require references and they employ a testing procedure which stops the spammers cold.

Fingers X'd!

Dating in The World of The Plutonomy

Lonely upper crusters out there are shelling out millions to meet someone they've never seen and who a third party is telling them THEY WILL fall in love with?  We all know that you can narrow things down but the chemistry has gotta be there when eyes finally meet the flesh, no?

According to this article from THE DATING BLOG:

"Who are those clients? These rich and often well-known people want to steer clear of gold diggers, says Kelleher co-owner Amber Kelleher-Andrews. “They’re too busy to find love,” she says of the firm’s clients. “Matchmakers can cut right to the chase.” To be personally matched by founder Jill Kelleher, members need to fork over serious money. “A client called us last week and insisted on Jill matching him. He said $100,000 to meet the right woman was nothing compared to the $4 million his divorce was costing him from the wrong woman,” says Kelleher-Andrews."

That makes sense, but how in H.E. double-hockeysticks can a Matchmaker assure someone is not looking for a ticket to ride just because they are one of her clients who is already rich, or somehow un-rich, but still not looking to date money (even though they must be looking to date money since they are being matched up with a a lonely plutocrat)?  What's wrong with this picture?  

It makes you feel kinda sorry for the rich, perhaps for all of five seconds?  Oh, if only we had such problems!!!

From Huffington: "Smart, Meet Heart: 5 Remedies for Smart People's Dating Woes"

According to "doctor" whatshisname who posts at Huffington Post, you need to look inside yourself and do these five things that make you a better person (assuming smart people are generally jerky?).  Basically, it's a Christmas Carol evolution in some ways:

"Some of you, my astute readers, already noticed that the dating challenges enumerated in the last article - focusing on careers instead of relationships, expecting to be loved for the wrong reasons, not acting like a sexual being, self-sabotaging and ego identity - are not just specific to smart people. They're specific to people. Smart, successful folks simply get a little extra wallop of them ...Well, that's nice, you say. Now what are we going to do about it, doc?"

The above is worth taking a look at, but seriously, this kind of advice is not going to change someone from self-centered to humanistic.  Nevertheless, it's good to know.  An epiphany or two might be culled forth.  But all in all, dating smart people online, or otherwise, really comes with no extra baggage when compared to  dating idiots, online or otherwise.  It just depends on how you spin the reality!

Online Dating Service for "Ugly People" Goes Live - Is This Intelligent or Stupid?

We could not believe it either, but it's TRUE.  An entrepreneur type in the U.K. has started a site for people looking to date ugly people.  Attractive types need not apply!

As follows from Opposing Views:

"Just launched: a British Web site billing itself as the first ever dating service for ugly people. TheUglyBugBall.co.uk brings people together who've identified themselves as less than attractive (thankfully, there isn't an outside agency determining whether these people are in fact as ugly as they think they are). UglyBug's founder, Howard James, says, “It’s a sad fact that up to half of the UK is made up of ugly people, yet amazingly nobody has ever thought of providing a dating service for them."

Party on.

Love For Wits - Most Adept Intelligent Dating Site for Smart or Witty People

What is *the* best site if you are really into dating smart people online?  As of late, you were  stuck between drab Brainiac and that English site for Mensa-level humans, or else you were bravely fishing in the nerd ponds.  Only now, there's a new player on the scene.  Thank God!  And here is a unique viewpoint on this Love For Wits place by a blogger who hates dating sites in general and finds them "sleazy":

"What do I mean by "sleaze"? It's the LOUD feel to the sites themselves, as if I'm watching a slick advert put on by Dow Chemical or BP or some corporation equally abominable. Plenty of Fish is a bit more sedate in terms of appearance (though tacky!), but based on feedback from friends it should be renamed "Plenty of Fools" (or F**K Heads, depending on who you talk to); and though it's hearsay, the horror tales regarding yet another icky dating site, e-Harmony, convinced me to run screaming."

But she goes on to say:

"An associate of mine recently introduced me to another dating site, and naturally I thought, oh yeah, right, but the name, Love For Wits, attracted me, and after I clicked to their home page I got a good laugh at their tag line: YES, THERE IS INTELLIGENT LIFE ON EARTH AND IT'S ON LOVE FOR WITS.COM SEARCHING FOR OTHER INTELLIGENT LIFE. This pulled me in. I can't resist something different, apparently intelligent, and amusing at the same time; and for a dating site, this was RADICAL. How dare they attempt to separate themselves from the greater mass of humanity!"

More on this here.

Do Smarts Matter? Readers Speak Their Mind.

A good one from the Washington Post re problems smart people have dating.

"Being smart does make it harder to date, and I think it's worse for smart women," writes Katherine Wertheim, 46, from Ventura, Calif. Wertheim says she found "the dilemma of dating-while-intelligent (DWI)" less troublesome when she lived in Washington, "a town filled with smart people." Still, she says, out of her crowd of very smart friends, all the men except one "chose women who weren't quite as smart or well educated ..."

While a lot of this is anecdotal, it's still worth a peruse.  Don't agree though with the typical feminist slant that smart men in general are looking for dumber women.

Does Dale Koppel in Her Book "The Intelligent Woman's Guide to Online Dating" Actually Recommend Unsafe Sex as Well as Dishonesty? Judge For Yourself

A slice from the review of the online dating book by Koppel:

"I’m unclear why this is “the intelligent woman’s guide” since some of her advice does not sound like an intelligent woman’s decision making. For example, she shares her cavalier attitude about asking her lovers about STDs, getting blood tests and using condoms. While each person has to make their own decisions about these issues, I think it’s irresponsible for an author — who is then considered an “expert” by the media — to say, “I let the man decide if he wants to use a condom or not.”"

Addressing Money in Your Online Dating Profile

From Ron Leiber of The NY Times.  This issue comes up again and again, esp for daters 30's and up.  Worth a peruse.

"Is it a mistake to pose in front of your fancy car? Or to request that only people who are financially independent reply? If you say you like the finer things in life, is that code for the fact that you’re seeking a sugar daddy or mama? And how are the rules different, if they are at all, if you’re gay or a lesbian or looking to get married for the second or third time?"

E-Harmony Discriminates Against Short Men

Dating Online Insider reports that E-Harmony is intentionally short-changing small peeps.

As follows:

"Suspicions have been confirmed after numerous tests indicated that the exact same responses to the website's membership questionnaire, with the exception of physical height, resulted in either approval of membership (when an acceptable tall height was submitted) or denial of membership (when a short height was submitted). These tests were conducted numerous times to ensure accuracy. The National Organization Of Short Statured Adults has requested a full explanation from the company but has yet to receive a response. The organization has issued a full boycott of the website until this matter can be resolved. A 1998 Miami University study concluded that height and the power associated therein, plays a role in the selection of a mate."

Plenty of Fools? The Truth About Online Dating Scams

From Hubpages.Com, a comprehensive look at the latest online dating scam techniques and how to spot them.  Useful stuff, regardless of your age or gender:

"There are many ways it's done and it becomes such a downer when trying to find a date online and never knowing if the person who's personal you just read and enjoyed belongs to a real person, or to some low life affiliate marketer just trying to get you to sign up for something using a fake personal ad. "

Notes on Suave and Sexy Brain Matter - From "Love For Wits"

Many men fail to realize that the biggest sex organ is the brain. But this guy, he gets it! From our very first conversation over the phone, (which lasted three hours), there was intellectual chemistry. He was suave and super smart! He spoke at great length about everything--- from religion, to music, to relationships, to gender differences, with "realness" and a great sense of humor!

From Jennifer ... read on.